Waiting...

No decision has been made yet.  We are on two different wave lengths about it and I'll admit it is hard.  My heart yearns to go - especially after the meeting yesterday.  I probably got my hopes up prematurely too.  His heart is concerned about my safety.

Here is a song that describes me right now.  It's "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller.  The song is from the amazing movie "FIREPROOF" - I wanted to find just a nice pretty video for you to watch while you are listening, but the first video I pulled up has clips from the movie as well as the words and I just couldn't resist.  Take a moment to watch the video before you go on.  (Be sure to stop my player before watching it!)

That song really ministers to me right now.  While I wait, I will continue to worship Him.    I'm hopeful but patiently I'll wait.  It's not easy, but faithfully I'll wait.  And I'll take every step in obedience.  

Obedience.  How is my not pushing Michael being obedient?  Someone mentioned today that I supported him when we were moving to Hawaii - I should remind him of that.  While he was gone I had the responsibility of selling everything in the house, getting it ready for the market not to mention all of this was happening while losing my mom.  I supported his dream of moving back there.  But I also remember what God's design for marriage is.   If you have a Godly husband that is seeking God's will for his family then then God's will will filter down.  So if Michael is praying about this and he still doesn't have peace about it, then who am I to push against that?  Now many of you know Michael doesn't attend church.  Nothing against Indian Creek, but that is just the place he is right now.  How can I be sure Michael is praying and seeking God's will?  I can see it in his face.  I see his eyes close in prayer and I can feel his torn heart breaking as he seeks what to do/say.  Are my eyes clouded in excitement and I'm possibly not seeing something?  Possibly.  Michael knows that if this is from God then he can't stop it and nor would he try.  BUT until he has a peace about this (not that he won't be nervous/anxious about it still) we are waiting.   Now don't get me wrong....I am not just sitting by not saying anything.  This is a frequent topic for us and yes, a decision needs to made soon so I can get started on my shots.  The decision will come and I pray that we BOTH have peace about it.

Heavenly Father I thank You for Your Word and for Your plan for a blessed marriage that is in it.  I thank you for Michael who knows you as Lord and Jesus as Savior.  I humbly ask now that Your will is made clear to us regarding this mission trip.  Please make Your will clear to us and Holy Spirit please give us a clear answer.

If you would like to pray about this for us I would appreciate it.  We are still communicating peacefully and honestly on this so I pray that continues.  In the meantime I will continue to strive to be the wife God is changing me into!

PS...if you haven't seen FIREPROOF - go rent it.  We were so blessed by the movie and I encourage all couples to see it.  More on that later!